Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My penis needs a shock collar
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
