Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
