why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
