saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
