Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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