I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize