I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
