My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
