The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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