ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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