Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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