so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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