he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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