I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!