He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.