Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
