Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
