i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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