I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
