Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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