He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
