Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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