I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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