Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize