dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
