i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
