I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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