Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
