The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
