I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
