i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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