My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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