Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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