escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
