Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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