my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
