sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
