Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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