Do you still have your period?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
