There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
