He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
