CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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