OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
