He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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