We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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