Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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