Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i out mim tonsoeep
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