It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize