it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My vagina is very pro this idea
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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