my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize