Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
