Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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