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I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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