When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
