You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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