Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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