id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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