yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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