South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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