Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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