No stitches, just platelets and will power
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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