she woke up with a sticky ear
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
