the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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