if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
